“If your gift is to encourage others,
be encouraging. If it is giving, give
generously. If God has given you
leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift
for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.” Romans 12:8 (New Living Translation)
My desire is to be authentic in demonstrating my purpose in all that I
undertake: to help others by giving. Since we did not create ourselves, we are
all interdependent and a part of a larger master plan. (Genesis 2:2) Throughout my life I
realize how God has allowed so many people to show me His presence by allowing
them to be a blessing in my life. During the tough times in my life, someone
was near to help me through.
Every November Veterans Day is observed in the United
States. As a young child who attended school, I looked forward to the holidays
because it was a day when I got a day off from school. Hooray! For me, Veterans
Day was just another fun day. Of course I was familiar with the history of
Veterans Day. Officially recognized on November 11, 1918 as Armistice Day and
later renamed as Veterans Day in 1938, this day has only been remotely historically
important to me. (http://www.va.gov)
Paradoxically, life experiences have
caused my perception to transform from remote and stoically historic to aesthetic,
personal, meaningful, and grateful. Only recently, have I recognized and actualized
the profound new impact the day of honoring our veterans had on me. It is one
thing to read about the sacrifices of others and it is another to be a witness
and recipient of someone else’s sacrifice. Fortunately, I was able to recognize
this evolution in my life.
There are so many good examples of people who gave of
their gifts to me: family, teachers, pastors, priests, friends, mentors, and
counselors. Sincerely, I am grateful to all. Notably I’m especially
appreciative to Willie C. Yelverton Sr. and Edgar F. Siegfriedt who humbly
showed their courage and sacrifice by serving their country in the Army World
War II and also by caring for their families and friends. Both men are no
longer present on earth but their spirits of generosity, quiet dedication,
faith, and unconditional love live on.
My grandfather Willie C. Yelverton Sr. was a traditional,
conservative and quiet man. For the most part, he let my grandmother do the
talking. I remember the grapevine he tended when I visited my grandparents as a
teenager. Sixteen years after my grandfather’s passing, the grapevine he cared
for still yields fruit and is now tended by his youngest daughter, my aunt
Cynthia. Memories of my grandfather include how he remained calm while
grandmother got flustered and complained about his driving. One of the fondest
times in my childhood was when grandmother and grandfather drove from
Pikeville, NC in an RV (recreational vehicle) to Tucson, AZ to visit my mother,
sister and me. Our grandparents were full of hugs and loving encouraging words
to my sister and me. Grandmother would say “We love you very much. We’re so
proud of you. Keep doing good. God is your keeper” and grandfather would nod in
approval or say “Yeah.” Grandmother and grandfather took my sister and me to
the mall. They let us pick out what we wanted. Then they took us to a nice
restaurant to eat. When my grandparents arrived in Arizona, it was like
Christmas. As a child, I was used to speaking to my grandparents long distance
on the phone. I also corresponded with my grandmother by writing letters.
Grandmother always signed her letters Love Grandmother and Grandfather.
Even though my grandfather used words sparingly and
did not show much outward emotion, I knew he loved and cared for us. He
demonstrated his love and care by quiet dedication and support. Not long ago,
this past summer my niece accompanied me on a road trip to Pikeville, NC to
visit our grandmother and aunt. Aunt Cynthia gave me background information
about the trip grandmother and grandfather made to Arizona. Aunt Cynthia told
me my grandparents did not know exactly where my family lived. My mother was
divorced from their son (my father) and she had recently moved. Without an
address and the modern technological navigational assistance of GPS, my
grandparents rented an RV and headed towards Arizona. My grandfather was the
driver. I imagine grandmother praying and fussing, fussing and praying all
along the way. Aunt Cynthia told me grandfather was sure he would find us. Once
they arrived in Tucson, he asked questions and finally found someone who knew
our family and gave him directions to our house. At the time of my grandparents
visit, I did not know this. I didn’t realize that we had been out of touch with
them when we moved. It wasn’t until many years after my grandfather has passed
that Aunt Cynthia shared this story with me. If it wasn’t for my grandfather’s
quiet support, love and devotion, our family connection would be lost.
Another living example of someone giving is Fred
Siegfriedt. His first name is Edgar but he preferred everyone call him Fred.
Fred’s passing is more recent than my grandfather’s. When I met Fred he was
retired from his advertising agency. He volunteered his time to mentor and
counsel a friend of my family. I came to know Fred through my friend who
introduced us one day. When my grandfather passed away, Fred was a second
grandfather to me. Contrastingly, Fred was liberal, outgoing, very vocal, and
was always full of hugs, handshakes and kisses on the cheek. The greatest gift
Fred gave to me was his time. He realized that my family was far away so he was
always available if and when I needed to talk. When I called him up to share
with him the trials and tribulations of raising two small toddlers alone, he
had grandfatherly words of wisdom and a suggestion that I visit his church and
see how the children would like the children’s program there. When I talked
about how stressful it was working and raising two children, he invited all of
us (the children and me) to his home for dinner. While at dinner, his wife
(Joan Siegfriedt who recently passed away 1 year ago) shared stories of her
raising children alone while Fred was overseas in the Army and later away on
business trips. Because Fred shared his life with mine, I was able to see the
other side of life: the part of life where I’m a retired loving grandmother who
shares her gifts to encourage others.
These are just small glimpses into the blessings,
gifts and sacrifices others have given me. I am abundantly and wondrously blessed.
Though I may not own a multitude of material things, there is so much I have to
give. As a challenge to myself and in honor of the two soldiers whose memories
I will always remember, I will consciously give something every day. This is a
personal growth exercise for me. As part of my personal growth, I will keep a
giving journal. What will be the results? Will they be small, insignificant,
and unnoticed? Maybe they will. Maybe they won’t. “People are often
unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people
may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people
may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good. Give the world the best you have and
it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is
between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” (Mother Teresa
of Calcutta)
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